Once - Falling Slowly (Oscar Winner 2008 )

I was so excited to see this song win last night at the Oscar's! If you haven't seen the movie "Once," put it on your Netflix queue. You won't be sorry- it's such a sweet movie with some truly wonderful music.

Breathe, Breathe...

Well, the meeting was every bit as adversarial as I had feared, but it is over. Thanks be to God.

I'm still, three hours later, feeling wound up and a bit nauseated. We still have to report our action to Presbytery, which is going to loads of fun, I'm sure.

Most of all, I'm saddened by the need for it all.

I'm Not Looking Forward to It...

I wrote, rather cryptically, here a few weeks ago about an issue that was making me lose sleep. Well, it is all coming to a head tomorrow morning at our Presbytery committee meeting that I moderate. Everyone involved could use prayer.

Although I know that what we need to do is going to be incredibly painful, I know that it is absolutely necessary. We would be unfaithful to our committee's purpose if we didn't act and, worse, the larger church would have to deal with issues later if we let things slide.

Crap.

Why did I agree to moderate this committee anyway?

Duped...

I'm feeling like a real ding-dong...

I guess I'm just too much of a good girl who follows directions because when they said Pre-Kindergarten registration at the local elementary school began at 8:30 am, I believed them. So, I arrived at 8:15 am, thinking I would stand in line, only to find out that other parents had come much earlier and had been allowed to register. My daughter is sixth on the waiting list. I guess we'll be paying for another year of pre-school.

And last night while watching the news, I found out that I had been duped into signing a petition to get an anti-affirmative action initiative on the ballot. I know I should have asked for more information, but I was in a hurry to get to the grocery store when the woman approached me in the parking lot. She said that it for a civil rights initiative. Apparently there are a lot of people who, like me, were misinformed so, there's an investigation. Perhaps it won't even get on the ballot now.

Oh, brother....

So far, no ice! Yay!

Oh, Please God, No.....

They are forecasting another ice storm tonight. Oh, I hope that it bypasses us because our city hasn't yet recovered from December's storm. This was our back yard back then. I really don't want to wake up to this again...

Although we have a new roof, we're still living with a hole on our ceiling that we've covered with cardboard until the restoration company can come fix it. They've got lots of people to deal with, so we have to be patient.

There are so many, especially lower-income folks who were given the middle finger from FEMA, who have had to deal with so much more. They haven't yet even come close to cleaning up all the debris. We just can't take another storm.

A President's Day Meme

This is from Songbird. How better to honor President's Day?
Herewith, five Presidential questions.

1. Can you name the American Presidents we are honoring? Bonus: Any idea when their real birthdays are? (Don't look it up.)
Yes, Washington and Lincoln. I can't think of Washington's actual birthday, but Lincoln's was February 12- same as my Daddy.

2. Why do you suppose car sales are an important aspect of our President's Day observations in the U.S.? (Feel free to be whimsical.)
Well, it certainly would be one way of "honoring" our current President, by hanging around car salesmen and buying a Hummer.

3. Have you ever been President of a club or organization? How did that feel?
Yep. When I was a teenager, usually it was very exciting to be elected and then would kind of suck to have to do the job. Gratefully, since then I have not been President of anything.

4. If you could have dinner with any President of the United States no longer living, who would it be? Any particular questions you would like to ask? (Please feel free to substitute a nationally appropriate elected leader, such as a Prime Minister.)
hmmmmmm..... I guess Harry Truman because I would like to ask him about what he was thinking and feeling as he made the decision to drop the bombs on Japan.

5. On a more serious note, what are the qualities you hope for in our next President? (As above for those who live in other countries.)
I hope the President is honest, a peacemaker, inspires with hope rather than with fear, is able to mend ties abroad, but, above all, has wisdom. Also, I hope the President cares more about the country than getting re-elected.

ETA: Is anyone else having problems with the "spellcheck" and "add image" buttons on blogger?

A Stream of Consciousness Post

The main reason, besides sickness, that I haven't been blogging much lately is that I have been self-censoring a lot. All of the sudden, I am finding myself intimidated and I don't know why.

I need to get over it, so for just this one post, I am going to make myself not self-censor, and just write..... the good, the bad and the indifferent.....I think bullets will help me not worry about complete sentences....

• If the people in my church were any tighter with money, they could shove coal up their butts and poop diamonds. They are sitting on a half million dollars in a foundation, nearly $160,000 in CD's (roll-overs from past years' budget surpluses), and healthy pledges for a church this size. However, you ask them about spending any of that money and they get these panic stricken looks on their faces. When I have asked them to dream about how God might be calling them to use these blessings, they talk about pew cushions. It's frustrating. I feel like I need to preach Luke 12, the parable of the man who builds up his barns.
• We need a new mattress, so after church today I went to look at some mattresses at a store close to my house. I laid on several beds and there were a couple that I liked a lot. So, I asked the salesman for a piece of paper and a pen to write down the names and prices of certain mattresses. And he said to me, "No, you have to bring your own pen." I thought he just had a dry sense of humor and waited for a moment for him to grin and say, "Just kidding," but he didn't. I said, "I just want to write down some prices...." He interrupted my by saying, "Well, bring your husband by...." And I interrupted him and said, "I don't think so." I felt like I was in the Twighlight Zone. I guess he didn't want my money.
• My husband and I are going on ten years of marriage. It's hard right now. Sometimes I just want to run away. How not to become a statistic?
• Our roof has been replaced from the ice storm damage, but we're still waiting for the interior work to be completed in our dining room. Right now, we have some very pretty wallpaper that was here when we moved in. It has to be replaced because they had to cut out part of the wall becasue of water damage. Of course, the wallpaper we have now is out of print. I've never been a wallpaper person, so I'm thinking about having them paint instead. But then we have to pick out colors. I don't want to make decisions right now.
• We are finally mostly healthy, thank God. Thanks for your well-wishes.
• My kids are playing together peacefully right now, thank God. I think that they have been picking up that I'm not very happy right now. I have to protect them from my dark mood because it's not their fault.

Okay, I'm reading back what I've written and I am resisting the urge to press "delete" like I have a dozen times over the past month or so. Forgive the messiness of this post, but I fear if I don't post something real right now, I might not again for a long time.

We're Spending Valentine's Day in Bed....

...but not in a good way. We're sick.

There's a nasty virus going around and it decided to visit us. My husband's been flat on his back for three days and I'm about as bad.

Hope your day is better!

John McCain - Yes we can music video response

The Barack Obama "Yes We Can" video made me cry. So did this one, because it's funny and, sadly, true to what McCain believes about this war.

Welcome Home, Wyld!!!

Join me in welcoming Wyldth1ng home from Iraq! You can find his blog here.

Wyld, thank you for service and we're glad you are HOME!

Reconnecting

Time is so fleeting and it is trite, but true to say, "you blink and a year has gone by."

Yeah, a year-- or seven. Has it really been seven years since I graduated from seminary ? And had it really been over three years since I had heard the voice of my good, good friend from seminary, A.? Oh, how good it was to speak to her tonight.

I've hit a blogging dry patch, it seems. I suppose it is okay for me to have a *few* unreflected moments, right?

However, I really want to maintain connection with all of my blogging buddies, even when I don't much feel like writing anything. So, even if all I post are the ABC's, I'll keep at it because I don't want to have to "reconnect" with you all later down the road.

ETA: I just noticed that someone found my blog by googling "Yuck Amway." That's the best one yet! They were directed to a story I told in a Friday Five awhile back about a guy asking me out and then taking me to an Amway party.

I Don't Usually Have Such Freaky Crytpic Dreams...

In that place between wakefulness and sleep this morning, I heard, or more like, felt, a voice that said,

"I am going to say a word. The first two letters in that word is my message to you. That word is 'God.'"

I woke up with that ringing in my ears and, because I'm not so with it in the morning, it took me a few seconds to figure out that the first two letters in God is G-O. Was the message, "go?"

Although I always dream very vividly, I am not accustomed to experiences such as this and it's got me a little weirded out.

The last time I felt like this was almost exactly three years ago. I was at the Princeton Youth Ministry Forum, which was held on St. Simons Island, Georgia. (fantastic place, btw.) I was in a seminar led by Ron Foster, co-author of this incredible youth ministry resource. Ron gave each of us a smooth black stone and asked us to go outside, commune with God, and seek a message from God.

At that time, I was very excited about a prospective call "back east" and was looking forward to interviewing and doing a neutral pulpit a couple of weeks from then. So, I was surprised that while sitting and looking at the ocean, the word "stay" kept coming into my mind.

When it was time to go back inside, Ron passed out metallic markers to write upon the stone words or pictures which described what God was saying to us. I wrote "stay," puzzled a little over that message, but not for very long. I tossed the stone into a front pocket of my suitcase and forgot about it.

Fast-forward a few weeks later- I had been extended the call from the church and wanted so very badly to accept it, but my husband wasn't feeling it. The day I made the phone call to reluctantly turn down the call, I was emptying out my suitcase and found the stone. Although it gave me no comfort at the time, I put it on my kitchen windowsill, where it still sits.

Now, this morning I have this strange experience with hearing the word "God" and being told, in my dreaming, that the first two letters is the message. I haven't done a lot of dream work in spiritual direction or therapy, but this would be very interesting to examine.

hmmmmmm......... maybe it was something I ate?

Fun Around the Font

My husband and children, who still regularly worship at the church in the city, came to worship with me this morning. It was nice for me to see them there in the congregation; they brought a certain energy with them. Children do that, especially in a congregation with no children.

We were about to begin the reaffirmation of baptism when I asked my kids if they would like to come to the front to sit. I expected them to sit in the first row, but instead they came right up to the font and began to put their hands in the water. This surprised me quite a bit, but I let them run the water through their fingers, all the while with these serious, reverent looks on their faces.

I hadn't planned to, but I then began telling them about their baptisms and how I felt on those special days when J. and I made promises and handed them over to the pastor to be baptized. After about 3 or 4 minutes, I realized that I was completely ignoring the congregation and I looked up and, thankfully, saw approving faces.

It was so much better of an introduction to the reaffirmation than I had planned- thanks to my bold and curious children!

I Wish I Could Write a Happy Post

Over the past month or so, I found that I was becoming increasingly more negative and not very much fun to be around. I have had a lot that I have wanted to blog about, but I have been in a place of not really knowing how to express myself. Also, I promised myself that I wouldn't post until I had something positive to blog. I didn't want my place to be one big pity party that no one wanted to come to.

However, now I'm breaking my restriction I've placed upon myself, which probably was dumb anyway. I am torn up by something right now and I wish that I could write about it in detail here, but I dare not because I know that I am not as anonymous as I allow myself to pretend to be.

But, someone I love, admire and respect is hurting right now and I am one of the persons responsible for her feeling this way. It doesn't make me feel any better that this pain is largely the consequence of her inaction and attitudes. I still feel like I could and should have done more. I keep beating myself up for mistakes that I made- and I made quite a few.

I feel like no one should ever put me in charge of anything ever again.

Not So Sure About the Glamour....

The Recipe For Iris

3 parts Humor 2 parts Glamour 1 part Giddiness Splash of Originality Limit yourself to one serving. This cocktail is strong!

What's" the Recipe for Your Personality?

I Need Some Time....

...before I'm able to get back into blogging full-force. I need to take a bit of a breather from 2007 which brought child care shockers, changing jobs, (then losing the job), starting a another new job, the ice storm.....


I'm beat..... and my eye's been twitching..... and I've been a real grump.

So, I may not write very much for awhile. I will say that everything is going just swimmingly in my new interim gig. It seems to be a good fit. Thanks be to God.

Happy new year!

This a reindeer sculpture my son made out of felled branches after the ice storm.

Hot Damn and Hallelujah!!!

I finally have my internet at home!!! Yay!!! Oh, and I have a phone again,
too, but that it so much less important!

Merry Christmas and may your services be meaningful and blessed.

What Happened

Thanks, friends, for your concern. This has been my first chance to get on teh internet since Sunday night.

We got hit...hard....by the ice storm here. I don't have much time to post, so I'll just sum up: the huge branches of our sycamore tree decided to visit the power lines to our house, as well as our roof. So, we have a big ol' hole in our dining room and no electricity. Thankfully, we found a place to stay that has heat and lights while we wait for our home to be habitable. Many in this area aren't as fortunate.

Please pray for us around here, as there is a lot to do and peoples' fuses are getting shorter and shorter.

"Speak Your Mind, Even If Your Voice Shakes."

And mine did shake this morning.

This overture, which had been tabled for a year, was defeated at Presbytery today. This was no thanks to me, as I kept having moments of aphasia while I was at the mic speaking and couldn't remember the word "overture." This happens to me a lot when I attempt to speak at Presbytery- rambling, forgetting the main point I wanted to make, etc....but I still find myself speaking at just about every meeting. And honestly, sometimes it's just because I can't stand it if no one under 50 has spoken, so I'll speak just so a young(er) voice is heard.

The debate could have been uglier than it was, but it was more heated than I would have liked. There were some very uncomfortable moments when they were trying to count votes- first by voice, then by showing of hands..... then, they asked us to stand to register our vote and there we were literally standing against one another. There was still confusion, so thankfully, ballots were handed out. It was interesting, by my estimation on the standing vote, the overture would have passed by, I'd say, 4 or 5 votes. Yet, when we voted by ballot, it was defeated by about 12. Some stormed out of the sanctuary after the result was announced.

While personally I am so glad that it didn't pass, I am also feeling grief over where we find ourselves as a Presbytery-not to mention our denomination. This skirmish is behind us, but we'll just very likely regroup for the next battle. How long can we keep this up? Really?

Someone made the comment on the floor of Presbytery that we are like a gallon of the Blue Bell Ice Cream flavor, The Great Divide, which has chocolate on one side and vanilla on the other. I only wish our division was as sweet! (mmmmmmmm.........Blue Bell........)

Oh, the former pastor of the church I am now serving sent a message to me via another pastor. The message was, "Do you know what the f(ireplace) you're getting into?" I just nodded and smiled, because what can I say to that?

I went home early because I began to feel pretty bad and a couple of people told me I looked "yellow." I never noticed that, but I was sure beat. I'll sleep well tonight.

How It Went

I've been feeling pretty bad this afternoon and I don't think it is completely because of my late night last night. I'm feeling a bit feverish and queasy. I have a follow-up appointment with the surgeon tomorrow, thankfully. I bet I've just been overdoing it.

Anyway, real quick, here's how it went this morning...

• I think I am going to actually like the drive down and back. It's a good four lane highway and the drive is about 39 minutes- not too long and I can listen to NPR. But, ask me again in a year.
• The only Sunday School class- of any age- was a Bible class where I was told, "We're gonna look at Job today!" From what I could gather, they were only going to study Job just this week. I think there was someone prepared to teach children and youth, but there were no students today. My family is still worshipping with my former congregation since my kids had already begun preparations for the Christmas pageant before I was knew I was going to serve this congregation. We'll reevaluate in the new year.
• I think I was grabbed and hugged by every church member I came across! I think some of the session members had let it slip that I had been extended more than one offer to serve as an interim, because a couple of folks said, "I'm so glad you chose us!" I've decided not to feel strange about that. It seems that they could use some esteem building.
• Each year in Advent, the congregation invites the young men of a boys' home that our Presbytery supports to come to worship and then lavishly gives each of them gifts. I mean it- presents and cards with cash! One of the staff members of the boys' home, whom I had never met, led the service. I suspected that he wasn't Presbyterian when I saw that his gospel reading for the first Sunday of Advent was Luke 2 and his 30 minute sermon was entitled "Noses Pushed Against the Glass of the Bethlehem Nursery." He is the newest staff member and is a Southern Baptist pastor. It wasn't a bad sermon, but I think folks will be happy with my 12-15 minute sermons!

I'm in a very good place right now- peaceful, grateful and really, really excited about this new ministry!