Glad That's Behind Me...

Thank God Tuesday is behind me and now I can concentrate on other things in my life that have had to be back burnered, like Holy Week services and the two books I need to read before I go to interim pastor training on Monday.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers on Tuesday. It was rough. I was up front fielding questions for close to 40 minutes, I think. Well, it felt like 2 hours. I explained, I think fairly well, the reasoning behind our committee's decision to make our motion. I 'm not sure I didn't cross the line from explaining to "piling on," but I did the best I could.

I was prepared for some to speak against our motion. Heck, if I hadn't been serving on this committee and didn't know what I know, I'm sure I would have been speaking against it, too. So, I was ready for that. I also thought that I was prepared for the glares and head-shaking I would be subject to while I gave the report. However, I wasn't really ready. I tell you, this experience was ten times worse than all the times I have been examined on the floor of Presbytery put together!

But I got through it and our motion carried 2 to 1, which was good affirmation that the Presbytery trusts the committee. I hope and pray that people understood that we took no joy in what we did, but it was absolutely necessary and, truly, the most faithful and loving we could do for all involved.

That evening and the day after, I received numerous phone calls and e-mails from folks saying that I handled this painful and sensitive issue well. I haven't heard from those who disagree, but I'm sure I will eventually.

I may not be posting for about a week because I am heading to Austin for interim pastor training on Monday. Anyone else going to be there as well? I could be back to preach the next Sunday, but I decided I am going to take the whole week off. I really need it.

Breathe, Breathe...

Well, the meeting was every bit as adversarial as I had feared, but it is over. Thanks be to God.

I'm still, three hours later, feeling wound up and a bit nauseated. We still have to report our action to Presbytery, which is going to loads of fun, I'm sure.

Most of all, I'm saddened by the need for it all.

I'm Not Looking Forward to It...

I wrote, rather cryptically, here a few weeks ago about an issue that was making me lose sleep. Well, it is all coming to a head tomorrow morning at our Presbytery committee meeting that I moderate. Everyone involved could use prayer.

Although I know that what we need to do is going to be incredibly painful, I know that it is absolutely necessary. We would be unfaithful to our committee's purpose if we didn't act and, worse, the larger church would have to deal with issues later if we let things slide.

Crap.

Why did I agree to moderate this committee anyway?

"Speak Your Mind, Even If Your Voice Shakes."

And mine did shake this morning.

This overture, which had been tabled for a year, was defeated at Presbytery today. This was no thanks to me, as I kept having moments of aphasia while I was at the mic speaking and couldn't remember the word "overture." This happens to me a lot when I attempt to speak at Presbytery- rambling, forgetting the main point I wanted to make, etc....but I still find myself speaking at just about every meeting. And honestly, sometimes it's just because I can't stand it if no one under 50 has spoken, so I'll speak just so a young(er) voice is heard.

The debate could have been uglier than it was, but it was more heated than I would have liked. There were some very uncomfortable moments when they were trying to count votes- first by voice, then by showing of hands..... then, they asked us to stand to register our vote and there we were literally standing against one another. There was still confusion, so thankfully, ballots were handed out. It was interesting, by my estimation on the standing vote, the overture would have passed by, I'd say, 4 or 5 votes. Yet, when we voted by ballot, it was defeated by about 12. Some stormed out of the sanctuary after the result was announced.

While personally I am so glad that it didn't pass, I am also feeling grief over where we find ourselves as a Presbytery-not to mention our denomination. This skirmish is behind us, but we'll just very likely regroup for the next battle. How long can we keep this up? Really?

Someone made the comment on the floor of Presbytery that we are like a gallon of the Blue Bell Ice Cream flavor, The Great Divide, which has chocolate on one side and vanilla on the other. I only wish our division was as sweet! (mmmmmmmm.........Blue Bell........)

Oh, the former pastor of the church I am now serving sent a message to me via another pastor. The message was, "Do you know what the f(ireplace) you're getting into?" I just nodded and smiled, because what can I say to that?

I went home early because I began to feel pretty bad and a couple of people told me I looked "yellow." I never noticed that, but I was sure beat. I'll sleep well tonight.

There is Hope for Us Yet!

Oh how I dreaded going to Presbytery today! We had before us an overture from the sessions of three of our congregations which sought to "clarify ordination standards" by declaring that all the ordination standards in G-6 of our Book of Order are "essential." This was, of course, very controversial and I expected there to be some fireworks at today's meeting. However, that is not what happened, thank God!

The wisdom of the Presbytery (53-30) was to postpone voting on this motion for one year and charge our Connecting Congregations committee to develop a plan for us to engage in the work that General Assembly has charged us to do in adopting the recommendations of the Theological Task Force on the Peace, Unity and Purity of the Church. So, in the next year, we will be creating theologically diverse groups to join together in worship, bible study, prayer, sharing our stories, and listening to one another. In other words, we'll do our best, with God's help, to move beyond our "positions" and see each other as sisters and brothers in Christ as we discuss these issues that we all believe to be very important.

I know that there are those who are very disappointed and angry that the Presbytery took this action, and I pray that they will be willing to enter into this time of discernment with the rest of us. We need their voices and experiences. I know that I will need to be reminded of this fact time and time and time again!

Thank God, there is hope for us yet!