Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I Wish I Could Write a Happy Post

Over the past month or so, I found that I was becoming increasingly more negative and not very much fun to be around. I have had a lot that I have wanted to blog about, but I have been in a place of not really knowing how to express myself. Also, I promised myself that I wouldn't post until I had something positive to blog. I didn't want my place to be one big pity party that no one wanted to come to.

However, now I'm breaking my restriction I've placed upon myself, which probably was dumb anyway. I am torn up by something right now and I wish that I could write about it in detail here, but I dare not because I know that I am not as anonymous as I allow myself to pretend to be.

But, someone I love, admire and respect is hurting right now and I am one of the persons responsible for her feeling this way. It doesn't make me feel any better that this pain is largely the consequence of her inaction and attitudes. I still feel like I could and should have done more. I keep beating myself up for mistakes that I made- and I made quite a few.

I feel like no one should ever put me in charge of anything ever again.

14 comments:

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

as one wise pastor once said to me... "remember we are in this league of inadequacy together."

none of us are perfect.
failproof.
know-it-alls.
do-it-righters.

your human & your forgivable too!
peace my friend... prayers.

more cows than people said...

oh iris, (((((iris))))).

would you be this hard on someone else who made the same mistake?

i feel for you though.

i don't even know what I did wrong tonight, i just feel like i did something wrong. and it feels icky.

if you want to talk, call me. you don't have to be happy. k?

love you.

Rev SS said...

((((o)))) from here too Iris. So sorry .. I know how you feel, been there ... and ditto what hotcup and morecows said. Please feel free to email me and send phone number if you would like to talk by phone.

lutheranmom said...

(((iris)))

Teri said...

(((iris)))

Rev Kim said...

what hotcup and more cows said.

(((Iris)))

Songbird said...

Hugs from here, too.

PK said...

(((iris))) prayers...

Magdalene6127 said...

(((Iris)))

I have felt like that. Much love to you. You are wonderful. Forgive yourself, whatever it is.

Wyldth1ng said...

You are probably overreacting, I am sure you could be in charge of all sorts of cool things.

Anyway its snowing here, so you have to be happy. It like a law or something.

Iris said...

Thank you all! I appreciate your reminders to extend forgiveness to myself. Things look a little better today, but it's still just a terrible mess. I appreciate your prayers.

mrs. m said...

(((Iris)))

Mary Beth said...

((((((Iris))))))

sorry for the mess. This too shall pass but that doesn't help now, does it?

Towanda said...

(((iris)))