Done

With some urging from More Cows, I decided to call the PNC chair. I'm so glad that I did because now I don't have to wonder anymore and I can finally feel free to explore other calls.

This is what he told me:
The PNC fell in love with both me and the other candidate and just couldn't make up their minds between us. Then, a pastor in their Presbytery decided to throw his hat into the ring and, well, it is likely that they are going to extend the call to him.

My intuition tells me that there is more to the story, but that's not my concern, is it?

This night before Pentecost, I pray God's blessing on that call and that their ministry together will flourish.

Finally, Something

E-mail I received tonight from PNC chair:

Dear Pastor Iris,

I am sorry that I have not communicated to you lately – we have been very busy in our discernment process.

We have not yet offered a call, so I would ask a little more patience. We expect to finish this very shortly.

After nearly a month of no contact, I'm not sure what to make of this.

Just in case you were wondering...

...I've still heard nothing from the Pastor Nominating Committee.

I haven't called them, either. It's kind of a game now to see how long they intend to keep me dangling. I really don't mean to sound bitter, because I'm not. Truly, I'm not. I'm more bemused and bewildered at their behavior.

And I hardly think about it anymore, especially the past few days since our childcare worker's trial.

If it is possible to be seriously bummed at same time as having peace-- that's me right now.

Verdict In

I guess the jury didn't need much time to convict.

Verdict: 1st degree murder

Sentence: life in prison without parole.

Iris household: heartbroken

Trial Began

The trial for our former childcare worker began today. For those of you who weren't readers last year, you can read about it here and here.

The mother of the child who died testified today, which I'm sure was just excruciating for her. I don't think that I will be going to observe; I just don't think I could handle it.

Please pray for all involved.

And Now...

...still nothing to report.

And.....................Nothin'

It's almost 9:30 pm on Friday night and still I've heard zilch. At this point, I'm playing all kinds of scenarios out in my mind, such as:

1) They are taking a week for discernment before they extend a call.

2) They've already extended the call to the other person, but she (I know it's a she) is needing some time to decide. So, they haven't called me ,"just in case."

3) They've already extended the call to the other person and they forgot to include the kiss-off letter with the check reimbursing me for my airfare.

4) They're big jerks who have no intention of calling.

They didn't seem like big jerks to me, so #4 is out. #1 could be the case, but wouldn't they have at least dropped a quick line to both of us to that effect? Maybe, maybe not. My hunch is that #2 is what's happening. I know, I know....I can't know for sure and this speculating is only serving to drive me out of my mind. There is lots going on that I'll never ever know about and God is in control.

However, I do need to think about how I would respond should they call me in the coming days offering me the position. Do I ask if I was their second choice? Could I be okay with that if that were the case?

Honestly, I think that I am about over it all. I never have had that sense of confirmation that God is indeed calling me there. I longed for it. I prayed for it. I wanted to fall completely head over heels in love and I wanted them to fall head over heels in love with me. I really liked the PNC and I really like the location, but I just don't have the sense of joy that I need to have in considering a call.

Friends, this isn't my call, is it?