Talk to You All Next Year!

The antibiotics are finally kicking in and I am beginning to feel human again. However, my son is now saying that his throat is hurting him. Please, God, not again.

My laptop's got some problems, so I've got to send it into Dell tomorrow. Thankfully it's still under warranty. So, you won't be hearing from me until I get it back- however long that takes.

When 2006 began, I had no clue that I would join the blogosphere and meet so many wonderful people who encourage me in my life and ministry. So, with gratitude for all of you, I wish you a blessed Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

Peace,
Iris

Strep for Me, Yippee!

I just returned for my Doctor and I have strep. So, today I'm singing Songbird's "Swollen Glands" song from last week. Come to think of it, we must be passing this crud around our blogring! No, I know it's all my son's fault!

Thankfully, strep is easily taken care of with some antibiotics. But, that's no issue, because I have nothing else to do this week, right?

One funny to share- my doctor actually gagged when she looked at my throat! Maybe that's only funny to me!

Preaching Sick

I'm running a fever; my throat hurts really bad; I'm aching all over and I've got the chills.

Yet, when I came to the pulpit, I didn't feel any pain and my voice was clear and strong.

I'll never never cease to be amazed when that happens! I felt upheld by the Spirit and I really didn't want to leave the pulpit. I did, though reluctantly!

At these times I am re-reminded that it's not about me. Thank God!

Friday Five: Yuletide Favorites

For this mid-December Friday Five, let's explore some Yuletide favorites.

1) It's a Wonderful Life--Is it? Do you remember seeing it for the first time?

I don't remember seeing this for the first time, much in the same way I don't remember seeing The Wizard of Oz the first time.

2) Miracle on 34th Street--old version or new?

There's a new version? I missed that one. I don't think that any little girl could do skepticism quite as convincingly as young Natalie Wood!

3) Do you have a favorite incarnation of Mr. Scrooge?

It's a toss up between Mr. Magoo and Bill Murray!

Susan Lucci- not so much.

4) Why should it be a problem for an elf to be a dentist? I've been watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer for years now, and I still don't get it.

I don't get it either. Don't elves get cavities from all the candy they eat?

5) Who's the scariest character in Christmas specials/movies?
The Bumble
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, Muppet Version
That Mean Magician Who Tries to Melt Frosty
Your Nomination

The Winter Warlock from Santa Claus is Coming to Town (before he became good) always made me run out of the room when I was little.

A Christmas Story for Those Having A Bad Day

This was just the giggle I needed after an ugly run-in with our grouchy and insubordinate church secretary!

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. So, frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Tee Hee!

Oh, How the Years Go By

I've seen this meme around the blogring the past few days and, since I can't think of anything else to write about, I'll give it a whirl.

Twenty years ago, I was:

• in the 9th grade and captain of the cheerleading squad;
• living with my family in the least populated state in our country;
• being trained in Youth Evangelism Explosion;
• feeling conflicted about what I was being taught in YEE;
• very, very, very boycrazy!

Fifteen years ago, I was:

• a Sophomore at a small, church-related university;
• a Bible and Religion major;
• sporting a very, very short hairstyle;
• probably in the midst of final papers for the semester;
• beginning to wonder if I would remain in my denomination;
• still pretty boy crazy!

Ten years ago, I was:

• living back in the state with more antelope than people;
• serving as an AmeriCorps volunteer working with at-risk Junior High students;
• paying the bills working part-time at Pizza Hut;
• beginning to gather seminary applications;
• a serial dater (still boy-crazy!)

Five years ago, I was:

• living in the Mile High City with my husband of 3 years and our 1 year old son;
• still boy crazy, but only for the two boys in my life;
• newly graduated from seminary (well, 6 months earlier;)
• working as an on-call chaplain in a local hospital;
• preparing to move to another state to begin serving in my first call;
• knowing in my heart of hearts that said first call wasn't the best match.

One year ago, I was:

• enjoying the Advent season in our newly purchased home in city in the Bible Belt with husband of 7 years, 5 year old son and 2 year old daughter (now girl crazy, too!)
• serving as part-time Associate in gift of grace from God congregation;
• having fun writing two dialogue sermons with my beloved colleague for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day service. I didn't know it would be our last Christmas serving together;

Yesterday, I was:

• cleaning the house like a mad woman because I just couldn't take it anymore!
• helping my little girl get dressed up in her "pretty dress-up, dancing dress" to go to the choir concert of two of our high school youth;
• planning Christmas Eve service;
• reading the Television Without Pity forums on the TV show, Heroes, because I'm in serious withdrawl! January 22 until the next new show!
• feeling restless, yet grateful.

Fa-la-la-la-la, La Friday Five

From the RevGals:

Reverendmother here... those of you who read my blog know I have a love-hate relationship with the 24/7 Christmas music we're subjected treated to in stores and radio (in the U.S. at least). It gets too sentimentally sticky-sweet sometimes, yet I find myself unable to resist it. Nothing says "it's Christmas" to me like John Denver and Rolf the Dog singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." So...

1. A favorite 'secular' Christmas song.

It's really just a silly pop song, and I don't know it's actual title, but I like the song by Wham that goes,
"Last Christmas I gave you my heart,
but the very next day you gave it away.
This year to save me from tears,
I'll give it to someone special."

This song reminds me of Anica and Brigitta, two of my favorite students when I taught English in Budapest the two years after college. They loved this song and were aghast that I had never heard it.

I also like the way George Michael sings the word "special." It's so special.

2. Christmas song that chokes you up (maybe even in spite of yourself--the cheesier the better)

This is easy. I always get choked up when I hear Amy Grant singing the words, "Everyone would have a friend" in the song "Grown-up Christmas List." I can't stand the thought of a friendless person. I don't have the same reaction when Vanessa Williams or Kelly Clarkson sings the song, however. Perhaps I have the feeling that Amy might actually care about lonely people, too.

Now, I hate songs that seem crafted just to yank the tears from your tear ducts. Which brings me to.....

3. Christmas song that makes you want to stuff your ears with chestnuts roasted on an open fire.

I think the song is called "Christmas Shoes" by a Christian group called Newsong. It's about a little girl who wants to buy her dying mommy a certain pair of shoes so that she'll look pretty when she goes to see Jesus. That song is all over the radio here!

4. The Twelve Days of Christmas: is there *any* redeeming value to that song? Discuss.

Ummm.... It's a good mind exercise to help prevent memory loss?

5. A favorite Christmas album

Truthfully, my favorite is an acoustic guitar Christmas tape that I got from the dollar store.

There is Hope for Us Yet!

Oh how I dreaded going to Presbytery today! We had before us an overture from the sessions of three of our congregations which sought to "clarify ordination standards" by declaring that all the ordination standards in G-6 of our Book of Order are "essential." This was, of course, very controversial and I expected there to be some fireworks at today's meeting. However, that is not what happened, thank God!

The wisdom of the Presbytery (53-30) was to postpone voting on this motion for one year and charge our Connecting Congregations committee to develop a plan for us to engage in the work that General Assembly has charged us to do in adopting the recommendations of the Theological Task Force on the Peace, Unity and Purity of the Church. So, in the next year, we will be creating theologically diverse groups to join together in worship, bible study, prayer, sharing our stories, and listening to one another. In other words, we'll do our best, with God's help, to move beyond our "positions" and see each other as sisters and brothers in Christ as we discuss these issues that we all believe to be very important.

I know that there are those who are very disappointed and angry that the Presbytery took this action, and I pray that they will be willing to enter into this time of discernment with the rest of us. We need their voices and experiences. I know that I will need to be reminded of this fact time and time and time again!

Thank God, there is hope for us yet!

Friday Five: Adventually

Songbird says: Although it comes as late as it can this year, Advent is upon us. Some of us grew up observing it, while to others (including this childhood Baptist) it was even more foreign than Lent! Over the past twenty years, I have grown to love Advent as a season of preparation, although as a pastor I find it harder to practice it at home than at church, even when the church might prefer I make it the other way 'round.

Here are five questions about Advent for this first of December:

1) Do you observe Advent in your church?
Yes, indeed!

2) How about at home?
The kids each have an advent calendar thanks to a sweet woman from church. We don't usually have an advent wreath at home.

3) Do you have a favorite Advent text or hymn?
I always get the chills when I hear "O Come, O Come Immanuel" for the first time each year.

4) Why is one of the candles in the Advent wreath pink? (You may tell the truth, but I'll like your answer better if it's funny.)
One of the candles told a dirty joke about the shepherds and the sheep that made one of them blush.

5) What's the funniest/kitschiest Advent calendar you've ever seen?
There are some doozies out there. But I'll forgive even the kitschiest if it has chocolate!

@#%&*$#@!!!!

Okay, you're gonna get a different Iris today than in my last post.
I handled yesterday's inconvenience with the mom-mobile okay and actually had some fun.

But last night, some shithead decided to bash-in the window of our other car! We had nothing to steal! A storm front moved in bringing with it sleet and ice and we're expected to receive several inches of snow today.

I guess the big difference between the two events is that with the car window someone deliberately did it. As much as I imagine that the mom-mobile has a grudge against me, it didn't break the ignition itself. I want one of those bumper stickers that say, "Mean People Suck!"

So, another $140 We may very well celebrate a "Buy Nothing Christmas!"

A Surprise Mini Retreat!

I've never enjoyed having car trouble more!

At about 2:30 this afternoon I went to our local Cokesbury bookstore for what I thought would be a quick trip to pick up some books I had ordered. When I returned to my mom-mobile (Dodge Caravan) I found that my key would not budge in the ignition.

We've resisted joining that lobbying group known as AAA, but I was kinda wishing I was a card carrying member right then. I called a mechanic and he told me that I needed to call a locksmith. For some reason, hundreds of people chose today to lock themselves out. I called eight locksmiths before I found one who could help me, but I had to wait until he finished three other jobs, of course. My husband was home sick with the flu and wasn't keen on packing the kids up to come get me, just to take me back when the locksmith was able to get around to me. Besides, I didn't know how long I would be waiting.

Well, the locksmith didn't arrive until 6:00 PM, but I didn't care because I was in a bookstore! I was able to leisurely look over all the shelves without feeling guilty about lolly-gagging! I got to take a good look at some titles that I had thought looked good in the catalogs but didn't want to commit to buying without knowing more. I tried on some stoles. Two pastors in the Presbytery came in at different times and I chatted with them. I discovered that the store manager (I'll call him Mark) is married to a pastor in town and they have children the same ages as ours. We're going to make plans to have Mark and his family over for dinner sometime soon.

This mini retreat wasn't free, however. The locksmith bill was $110. Ouch!

Thankful

I am thankful for a stress-free Thanksgiving yesterday. I prepared the entire meal, but never felt rushed! My in-laws have been delightful. We live far away from both sets of grandparents, so it's been great to let them have their grandkid fix!

I am also thankful for chewable antibiotic tablets that the Boy can take instead of gaggy liquid. No more chasing him around the house! He is feeling much better today. Yesterday, he opted to sleep rather than come to the table with the rest of us. Sleep was exactly what was needed, as he is a bundle of energy today. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!

Update on the Birthday Boy

My little boy turns six years old today and gets to celebrate with a recurrence of strep throat. Yippee! So, another round of heavier-duty antibiotics.

To Dye Or Not To Dye?

I found my first gray hair when I was 8 years old. It's been downhill ever since. With my very dark hair, the suckers have always been easy to spot. If I saw one, I'd just yank it out; never believing the old wives tale about 3 more growing back in its place.

Well, sisters, I'm a believer now! However, the 3 new gray hairs for every 1 plucked didn't grow in immediately. They waited to grow in this past year. I feel like I've aged 10 years in the past 3 years, and I don't like it one bit. I'm only 34 years old! Gah! I never really thought this would bother me so much!

So, do I turn to the bottle? Of hair-dye, I mean! I have used semi-permanent color in the past year, but haven't yet committed to the permanent stuff. The two times I've done color, my sister or sister-in-law have applied it for me and they both live 800 miles away. I'm a little afraid of messing my hair all up and I can't afford to have it done. I've been letting it just go gray for the past few months and while I know that a few gray hairs can't hurt as a pastor, I've always believed that my (now relative) youth was an asset.

Do I age gracefully, cheerfully accepting the changes that come along, or do I resist?

On a more important topic: please pray for my son. He was very sick a week or so ago with Scarlet Fever. He's been better this week, but has spiked another fever tonight. Tomorrow is the little guy's birthday, too!

No Lurking This Week!

The RevGals have declared this week an offical delurking week, starting today and going until November 26. So, I'm joining in and committing to at least say "hi" when I read a blog. We all like to have lots of comments, it makes us feel good!

So, when you visit a blog, you can either just say "Thank you for blogging" or place a blogstone (o) (The invention of PPB of The Ice Floe) or whatever verbage the Spirit moves you to leave.

Let the Delurking begin!

Friday Five: Giving Thanks

Songbird says: It's that time of year. In the U.S., college students will be on their way home, traffic on the highways will be at its highest point, cooking and baking will ensue. But before the gorging and napping begins, let's take a moment to give thanks.

Please tell us five things or people for which you are thankful this year.

Well, there are way more than five! But here goes...

1. My sweet, patient, goofy husband!

2. My little boy and girl who keep me grounded and keep me from taking myself too seriously!

3. The people of our community of faith who continually inspire me into deeper relationship with God.

4. Indoor plumbing!

5. Dora the Explorer- for the much needed breaks she affords me!

I'm Home

I'm home, but I am NOT feeling relaxed and refreshed. I came home to my son who had broke out with Scarlet fever, strep, and impetigo while I was gone. Yeah, I'm experiencing a wee bit of mommy guilt here!

The conference was good and I did, indeed, enjoy having some time to myself. However, I have come home feeling quite depressed about the state of the PC(USA). All of this is beginning to hit close to home. I was informed yesterday that one of our "big steeple" church's leadership has submitted an overture to our Presbytery to require us to "strictly enforce G-6.0106b," which is the anti-LGBT ordination language in our constitution. So, I have a big fight at next month's Presbytery meeting to look forward to!

Honestly, I sometimes wonder if the most faithful response at this point wouldn't be to just split amicably and get about the business of ministry. What would be the best witness to the world? I just don't know. I just know that I'm weary of the fighting.

Going to Columbus!

I'm leaving tomorrow for the Covenant Network of Presbyterians conference in Columbus, OH. I must confess that I'm just as excited about staying in a hotel room all by myself as I am about the conference. Okay, I'm a little more excited about the solitude!

I'll be back at the end of the week. I'm hopeful that this conference will help me to be more informed and able to work for justice in our denomination's ordination standards. There will be much to share when I return, I'm sure!

God's peace to you all.

Friday Five: Nothing But the Tooth

Songbird says:

We are in the throes of what will (hopefully) be the final set of braces in this family, and so my mind is on the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

Please share your thoughts on the following:

1) The Tooth Fairy: I love her! When I was 8 years old, I had to have 8 teeth pulled at once. I think she felt sorry for me, so she left me 10 bucks that night! Just a couple of weeks ago, my son lost his first tooth and I got to play Tooth Fairy for the first time!

2) Flossing: Lame joke alert! "You don't have to floss all of your teeth; just the ones you want to keep." If I had a nickel for how many times a dental hygienist has told me that one...

Flossing is very important. I do it every single day. As the wise Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman, "You shouldn't neglect your gums!"

3) Toothpaste Brands: I use Aim because it's cheap, has flouride and is accepted by the American Dental Association. What more do you need?

4) Orthodontia for Adults: Go for it!

5) Whitening products: The marketing frenzy for these products went over the edge when they started advertising "Age-Defying" toothpaste! Give me a break! Also, have you noticed that some people end up with practically glow-in-the-dark teeth after getting their teeth professionally whitened?

Bonus: I'm about to drop my dentist because he has started charging a $7 "sterilization fee." WTF? So, I have to pay extra for him to sterilize his instruments? Has anyone else come across this?

Al Franken's SUPPLY SIDE JESUS... animated.