Where It Is Right Now

I hate waiting.

However, I don't know what I'd say if they did call tonight.

I'm one confused puppy.

and now for your moment of immaturity.....

This morning's prelude:

"Air for the G String"

tee-hee

Well, Crap....

I just accidentally deleted my blog roll! I still love you all!

ETA: I just spent about an hour recovering my blogroll, but for some reason only a few of you actually made it onto the roll. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. It doesn't seem *that* hard!

Prayin' and Thinkin'...

I'm pressed for time today, but I wanted to let you know how it went...

I had a very good weekend. Everything went very well, preaching included. It was a fantastically beautiful weekend with lots of sunshine! The weather has been so gloomy here lately, so I appreciated the sun on my face.

I didn't end up meeting with the Committee on Ministry because they don't want to meet until they have extended a call and it has been accepted. This is weird to me because are they really going to say no after a call has been accepted? Whatever.

I wish I could say that I had a great moment of clarity while I was there, but I didn't. I could see myself living there and pastoring this congregation, but I don't have the feeling of "this is it." It could be that I am feeling guarded because I know that they are interviewing another person this weekend.

It does help that today my husband has been saying that he thinks he would like to go. He's been pretty tight-lipped about it all until now. I want him to feel quite sure about it, especially since we'd be moving to where his parents live.

Oh, on Saturday night we had dinner at a committee member's apartment- the same apartment complex as my in-laws! In fact, this committee member serves on the condo board with my father-in-law. I think she thought I was strange for not telling my in-laws I was in town, but oh well. My husband was very adamant that I not.

So, prayers for clarity and discernment for all concerned would be greatly appreciated.

Getting Ready to Go

I'm here. I have so much to write about, but haven't been able to do it. I've sat at this computer so many times in the past weeks, but couldn't get myself to type anything. This is my pattern in the "real" world, as well; when I feel overwhelmed I shut down and and don't communicate with my friends and family. Not good, I know.

In a nutshell, I feel simultaneously very blessed and very confused and angry. The confused and angry part comes from decisions that my dad is making right now. I don't have time to write about that right now, but I will one of these days. Just please pray for him and my mom.

The blessed part is that tomorrow I fly west to meet with a Pastor Nominating Committee (PNC) to be interviewed and do a neutral pulpit. For HipChick, and other non-Presbyterians, a neutral pulpit is an opportunity for the PNC to hear a candidate preach and lead worship. This is done at another church in the area because pastor candidates aren't introduced to the congregation until a call as been extended and accepted.

I will also be interviewed by an exam team from this Presbytery's Committee on Ministry. I'm actually most nervous about this because this Presbytery is, by and large, very conservative. This Presbytery is a neighboring Presbytery to where I went to seminary and does not allow its inquirers and candidates to attend my seminary. So, I am little worried that they will be prejudiced against me from the get-go and that I will be in for one doozy of an interview with the COM. So far, I have had very laid back COM interviews. Have any of you had difficulty with this part?

I'm not sure if I mentioned that this city out west is where my in-laws live. We haven't told them anything, not even that I'm in conversation with this church. The reason is that they would be devastated if it didn't work out and if I were the one to pull the plug, I'm not sure my mother-in-law would ever forgive me. So, I really hope I don't accidentally run into them! It's possible, as the church is just down the hill from their condo.

Okay, must finish sermon. I decided to preach lectionary instead of pulling out one of Iris' greatest hits, but now I'm beginning to wish I hadn't. Oh, well....

Peace to you all...

He is Risen!

Have a Blessed Easter!

Quick Check-In

Going to interim training the week before Holy Week has made me way behind with no time to blog....rats!

But quickly...

• interim training was good, but very intense. At times I felt like it would have been more efficient to have just sliced off the tops of our heads, ala Sylar from Heroes, and just dump the information into our brains! And plenary session after plenary session was too much for this introvert to take.
• I met some fantastic people, including my great roomie and a woman who is serving on the Presbytery level for the first time. (*waves* at any new friends who may be lurking!) I sat at a table with a woman whose children's books on worship I have used extensively (think church mice.) So cool!
• Interim training has made me realize just how much I don't want to be an interim right now and that I truly long to be in a called position.
• I have been invited to fly out to a Western state in a few weeks to meet with a Pastor Nominating Committee and do a neutral pulpit.
• We still haven't made any changes to the dining room walls.

I promise I will expound upon all this after we get on the other side of Easter. Have a blessed and meaningful Good Friday.

"Dammit, Jim, I'm a Pastor, Not an Interior Decorator!"

Well, our home is almost completely restored from the damage from the ice storm; we've just got to have the gutters replaced in the back, yet. As sick as I was of having a hole in my dining room, I'm almost as sick of contractors and sub-contractors!

Although we only had a small amount of damage to the walls in the dining room, it necessitated getting the entire room re-wallpapered. Decorating is soooo not my forte, but I think I picked out a pretty paper for above the chair railing. Now, what I chose for below the chair railing.... Well, just look for yourself...

Gag me! I thought the green would match the green in the leaves above...and so did the woman in the wallpaper store. But, um, no, it certainly does not. I didn't realize that it would look so sea foam greeny up on the wall.

I definitely want to change this. Of course, insurance won't pay to have it changed just because I'm bad with color. The contractor working on the ceiling suggested that we paint a tan stain over it so that just the dark green would show through. It might be worth a shot.

*sigh*

Please forgive the lame-o Star Trek reference in the title!

Glad That's Behind Me...

Thank God Tuesday is behind me and now I can concentrate on other things in my life that have had to be back burnered, like Holy Week services and the two books I need to read before I go to interim pastor training on Monday.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers on Tuesday. It was rough. I was up front fielding questions for close to 40 minutes, I think. Well, it felt like 2 hours. I explained, I think fairly well, the reasoning behind our committee's decision to make our motion. I 'm not sure I didn't cross the line from explaining to "piling on," but I did the best I could.

I was prepared for some to speak against our motion. Heck, if I hadn't been serving on this committee and didn't know what I know, I'm sure I would have been speaking against it, too. So, I was ready for that. I also thought that I was prepared for the glares and head-shaking I would be subject to while I gave the report. However, I wasn't really ready. I tell you, this experience was ten times worse than all the times I have been examined on the floor of Presbytery put together!

But I got through it and our motion carried 2 to 1, which was good affirmation that the Presbytery trusts the committee. I hope and pray that people understood that we took no joy in what we did, but it was absolutely necessary and, truly, the most faithful and loving we could do for all involved.

That evening and the day after, I received numerous phone calls and e-mails from folks saying that I handled this painful and sensitive issue well. I haven't heard from those who disagree, but I'm sure I will eventually.

I may not be posting for about a week because I am heading to Austin for interim pastor training on Monday. Anyone else going to be there as well? I could be back to preach the next Sunday, but I decided I am going to take the whole week off. I really need it.

Prayers, Please....

Presbytery meeting is tomorrow. I would appreciate your prayers for the report that I have to make.

Thanks.

Once - Falling Slowly (Oscar Winner 2008 )

I was so excited to see this song win last night at the Oscar's! If you haven't seen the movie "Once," put it on your Netflix queue. You won't be sorry- it's such a sweet movie with some truly wonderful music.

Breathe, Breathe...

Well, the meeting was every bit as adversarial as I had feared, but it is over. Thanks be to God.

I'm still, three hours later, feeling wound up and a bit nauseated. We still have to report our action to Presbytery, which is going to loads of fun, I'm sure.

Most of all, I'm saddened by the need for it all.

I'm Not Looking Forward to It...

I wrote, rather cryptically, here a few weeks ago about an issue that was making me lose sleep. Well, it is all coming to a head tomorrow morning at our Presbytery committee meeting that I moderate. Everyone involved could use prayer.

Although I know that what we need to do is going to be incredibly painful, I know that it is absolutely necessary. We would be unfaithful to our committee's purpose if we didn't act and, worse, the larger church would have to deal with issues later if we let things slide.

Crap.

Why did I agree to moderate this committee anyway?

Duped...

I'm feeling like a real ding-dong...

I guess I'm just too much of a good girl who follows directions because when they said Pre-Kindergarten registration at the local elementary school began at 8:30 am, I believed them. So, I arrived at 8:15 am, thinking I would stand in line, only to find out that other parents had come much earlier and had been allowed to register. My daughter is sixth on the waiting list. I guess we'll be paying for another year of pre-school.

And last night while watching the news, I found out that I had been duped into signing a petition to get an anti-affirmative action initiative on the ballot. I know I should have asked for more information, but I was in a hurry to get to the grocery store when the woman approached me in the parking lot. She said that it for a civil rights initiative. Apparently there are a lot of people who, like me, were misinformed so, there's an investigation. Perhaps it won't even get on the ballot now.

Oh, brother....

So far, no ice! Yay!

Oh, Please God, No.....

They are forecasting another ice storm tonight. Oh, I hope that it bypasses us because our city hasn't yet recovered from December's storm. This was our back yard back then. I really don't want to wake up to this again...

Although we have a new roof, we're still living with a hole on our ceiling that we've covered with cardboard until the restoration company can come fix it. They've got lots of people to deal with, so we have to be patient.

There are so many, especially lower-income folks who were given the middle finger from FEMA, who have had to deal with so much more. They haven't yet even come close to cleaning up all the debris. We just can't take another storm.

A President's Day Meme

This is from Songbird. How better to honor President's Day?
Herewith, five Presidential questions.

1. Can you name the American Presidents we are honoring? Bonus: Any idea when their real birthdays are? (Don't look it up.)
Yes, Washington and Lincoln. I can't think of Washington's actual birthday, but Lincoln's was February 12- same as my Daddy.

2. Why do you suppose car sales are an important aspect of our President's Day observations in the U.S.? (Feel free to be whimsical.)
Well, it certainly would be one way of "honoring" our current President, by hanging around car salesmen and buying a Hummer.

3. Have you ever been President of a club or organization? How did that feel?
Yep. When I was a teenager, usually it was very exciting to be elected and then would kind of suck to have to do the job. Gratefully, since then I have not been President of anything.

4. If you could have dinner with any President of the United States no longer living, who would it be? Any particular questions you would like to ask? (Please feel free to substitute a nationally appropriate elected leader, such as a Prime Minister.)
hmmmmmm..... I guess Harry Truman because I would like to ask him about what he was thinking and feeling as he made the decision to drop the bombs on Japan.

5. On a more serious note, what are the qualities you hope for in our next President? (As above for those who live in other countries.)
I hope the President is honest, a peacemaker, inspires with hope rather than with fear, is able to mend ties abroad, but, above all, has wisdom. Also, I hope the President cares more about the country than getting re-elected.

ETA: Is anyone else having problems with the "spellcheck" and "add image" buttons on blogger?

A Stream of Consciousness Post

The main reason, besides sickness, that I haven't been blogging much lately is that I have been self-censoring a lot. All of the sudden, I am finding myself intimidated and I don't know why.

I need to get over it, so for just this one post, I am going to make myself not self-censor, and just write..... the good, the bad and the indifferent.....I think bullets will help me not worry about complete sentences....

• If the people in my church were any tighter with money, they could shove coal up their butts and poop diamonds. They are sitting on a half million dollars in a foundation, nearly $160,000 in CD's (roll-overs from past years' budget surpluses), and healthy pledges for a church this size. However, you ask them about spending any of that money and they get these panic stricken looks on their faces. When I have asked them to dream about how God might be calling them to use these blessings, they talk about pew cushions. It's frustrating. I feel like I need to preach Luke 12, the parable of the man who builds up his barns.
• We need a new mattress, so after church today I went to look at some mattresses at a store close to my house. I laid on several beds and there were a couple that I liked a lot. So, I asked the salesman for a piece of paper and a pen to write down the names and prices of certain mattresses. And he said to me, "No, you have to bring your own pen." I thought he just had a dry sense of humor and waited for a moment for him to grin and say, "Just kidding," but he didn't. I said, "I just want to write down some prices...." He interrupted my by saying, "Well, bring your husband by...." And I interrupted him and said, "I don't think so." I felt like I was in the Twighlight Zone. I guess he didn't want my money.
• My husband and I are going on ten years of marriage. It's hard right now. Sometimes I just want to run away. How not to become a statistic?
• Our roof has been replaced from the ice storm damage, but we're still waiting for the interior work to be completed in our dining room. Right now, we have some very pretty wallpaper that was here when we moved in. It has to be replaced because they had to cut out part of the wall becasue of water damage. Of course, the wallpaper we have now is out of print. I've never been a wallpaper person, so I'm thinking about having them paint instead. But then we have to pick out colors. I don't want to make decisions right now.
• We are finally mostly healthy, thank God. Thanks for your well-wishes.
• My kids are playing together peacefully right now, thank God. I think that they have been picking up that I'm not very happy right now. I have to protect them from my dark mood because it's not their fault.

Okay, I'm reading back what I've written and I am resisting the urge to press "delete" like I have a dozen times over the past month or so. Forgive the messiness of this post, but I fear if I don't post something real right now, I might not again for a long time.

We're Spending Valentine's Day in Bed....

...but not in a good way. We're sick.

There's a nasty virus going around and it decided to visit us. My husband's been flat on his back for three days and I'm about as bad.

Hope your day is better!

John McCain - Yes we can music video response

The Barack Obama "Yes We Can" video made me cry. So did this one, because it's funny and, sadly, true to what McCain believes about this war.

Welcome Home, Wyld!!!

Join me in welcoming Wyldth1ng home from Iraq! You can find his blog here.

Wyld, thank you for service and we're glad you are HOME!