Reconnecting

Time is so fleeting and it is trite, but true to say, "you blink and a year has gone by."

Yeah, a year-- or seven. Has it really been seven years since I graduated from seminary ? And had it really been over three years since I had heard the voice of my good, good friend from seminary, A.? Oh, how good it was to speak to her tonight.

I've hit a blogging dry patch, it seems. I suppose it is okay for me to have a *few* unreflected moments, right?

However, I really want to maintain connection with all of my blogging buddies, even when I don't much feel like writing anything. So, even if all I post are the ABC's, I'll keep at it because I don't want to have to "reconnect" with you all later down the road.

ETA: I just noticed that someone found my blog by googling "Yuck Amway." That's the best one yet! They were directed to a story I told in a Friday Five awhile back about a guy asking me out and then taking me to an Amway party.

I Don't Usually Have Such Freaky Crytpic Dreams...

In that place between wakefulness and sleep this morning, I heard, or more like, felt, a voice that said,

"I am going to say a word. The first two letters in that word is my message to you. That word is 'God.'"

I woke up with that ringing in my ears and, because I'm not so with it in the morning, it took me a few seconds to figure out that the first two letters in God is G-O. Was the message, "go?"

Although I always dream very vividly, I am not accustomed to experiences such as this and it's got me a little weirded out.

The last time I felt like this was almost exactly three years ago. I was at the Princeton Youth Ministry Forum, which was held on St. Simons Island, Georgia. (fantastic place, btw.) I was in a seminar led by Ron Foster, co-author of this incredible youth ministry resource. Ron gave each of us a smooth black stone and asked us to go outside, commune with God, and seek a message from God.

At that time, I was very excited about a prospective call "back east" and was looking forward to interviewing and doing a neutral pulpit a couple of weeks from then. So, I was surprised that while sitting and looking at the ocean, the word "stay" kept coming into my mind.

When it was time to go back inside, Ron passed out metallic markers to write upon the stone words or pictures which described what God was saying to us. I wrote "stay," puzzled a little over that message, but not for very long. I tossed the stone into a front pocket of my suitcase and forgot about it.

Fast-forward a few weeks later- I had been extended the call from the church and wanted so very badly to accept it, but my husband wasn't feeling it. The day I made the phone call to reluctantly turn down the call, I was emptying out my suitcase and found the stone. Although it gave me no comfort at the time, I put it on my kitchen windowsill, where it still sits.

Now, this morning I have this strange experience with hearing the word "God" and being told, in my dreaming, that the first two letters is the message. I haven't done a lot of dream work in spiritual direction or therapy, but this would be very interesting to examine.

hmmmmmm......... maybe it was something I ate?

Fun Around the Font

My husband and children, who still regularly worship at the church in the city, came to worship with me this morning. It was nice for me to see them there in the congregation; they brought a certain energy with them. Children do that, especially in a congregation with no children.

We were about to begin the reaffirmation of baptism when I asked my kids if they would like to come to the front to sit. I expected them to sit in the first row, but instead they came right up to the font and began to put their hands in the water. This surprised me quite a bit, but I let them run the water through their fingers, all the while with these serious, reverent looks on their faces.

I hadn't planned to, but I then began telling them about their baptisms and how I felt on those special days when J. and I made promises and handed them over to the pastor to be baptized. After about 3 or 4 minutes, I realized that I was completely ignoring the congregation and I looked up and, thankfully, saw approving faces.

It was so much better of an introduction to the reaffirmation than I had planned- thanks to my bold and curious children!

I Wish I Could Write a Happy Post

Over the past month or so, I found that I was becoming increasingly more negative and not very much fun to be around. I have had a lot that I have wanted to blog about, but I have been in a place of not really knowing how to express myself. Also, I promised myself that I wouldn't post until I had something positive to blog. I didn't want my place to be one big pity party that no one wanted to come to.

However, now I'm breaking my restriction I've placed upon myself, which probably was dumb anyway. I am torn up by something right now and I wish that I could write about it in detail here, but I dare not because I know that I am not as anonymous as I allow myself to pretend to be.

But, someone I love, admire and respect is hurting right now and I am one of the persons responsible for her feeling this way. It doesn't make me feel any better that this pain is largely the consequence of her inaction and attitudes. I still feel like I could and should have done more. I keep beating myself up for mistakes that I made- and I made quite a few.

I feel like no one should ever put me in charge of anything ever again.

Not So Sure About the Glamour....

The Recipe For Iris

3 parts Humor 2 parts Glamour 1 part Giddiness Splash of Originality Limit yourself to one serving. This cocktail is strong!

What's" the Recipe for Your Personality?

I Need Some Time....

...before I'm able to get back into blogging full-force. I need to take a bit of a breather from 2007 which brought child care shockers, changing jobs, (then losing the job), starting a another new job, the ice storm.....


I'm beat..... and my eye's been twitching..... and I've been a real grump.

So, I may not write very much for awhile. I will say that everything is going just swimmingly in my new interim gig. It seems to be a good fit. Thanks be to God.

Happy new year!

This a reindeer sculpture my son made out of felled branches after the ice storm.

Hot Damn and Hallelujah!!!

I finally have my internet at home!!! Yay!!! Oh, and I have a phone again,
too, but that it so much less important!

Merry Christmas and may your services be meaningful and blessed.

What Happened

Thanks, friends, for your concern. This has been my first chance to get on teh internet since Sunday night.

We got hit...hard....by the ice storm here. I don't have much time to post, so I'll just sum up: the huge branches of our sycamore tree decided to visit the power lines to our house, as well as our roof. So, we have a big ol' hole in our dining room and no electricity. Thankfully, we found a place to stay that has heat and lights while we wait for our home to be habitable. Many in this area aren't as fortunate.

Please pray for us around here, as there is a lot to do and peoples' fuses are getting shorter and shorter.

"Speak Your Mind, Even If Your Voice Shakes."

And mine did shake this morning.

This overture, which had been tabled for a year, was defeated at Presbytery today. This was no thanks to me, as I kept having moments of aphasia while I was at the mic speaking and couldn't remember the word "overture." This happens to me a lot when I attempt to speak at Presbytery- rambling, forgetting the main point I wanted to make, etc....but I still find myself speaking at just about every meeting. And honestly, sometimes it's just because I can't stand it if no one under 50 has spoken, so I'll speak just so a young(er) voice is heard.

The debate could have been uglier than it was, but it was more heated than I would have liked. There were some very uncomfortable moments when they were trying to count votes- first by voice, then by showing of hands..... then, they asked us to stand to register our vote and there we were literally standing against one another. There was still confusion, so thankfully, ballots were handed out. It was interesting, by my estimation on the standing vote, the overture would have passed by, I'd say, 4 or 5 votes. Yet, when we voted by ballot, it was defeated by about 12. Some stormed out of the sanctuary after the result was announced.

While personally I am so glad that it didn't pass, I am also feeling grief over where we find ourselves as a Presbytery-not to mention our denomination. This skirmish is behind us, but we'll just very likely regroup for the next battle. How long can we keep this up? Really?

Someone made the comment on the floor of Presbytery that we are like a gallon of the Blue Bell Ice Cream flavor, The Great Divide, which has chocolate on one side and vanilla on the other. I only wish our division was as sweet! (mmmmmmmm.........Blue Bell........)

Oh, the former pastor of the church I am now serving sent a message to me via another pastor. The message was, "Do you know what the f(ireplace) you're getting into?" I just nodded and smiled, because what can I say to that?

I went home early because I began to feel pretty bad and a couple of people told me I looked "yellow." I never noticed that, but I was sure beat. I'll sleep well tonight.

How It Went

I've been feeling pretty bad this afternoon and I don't think it is completely because of my late night last night. I'm feeling a bit feverish and queasy. I have a follow-up appointment with the surgeon tomorrow, thankfully. I bet I've just been overdoing it.

Anyway, real quick, here's how it went this morning...

• I think I am going to actually like the drive down and back. It's a good four lane highway and the drive is about 39 minutes- not too long and I can listen to NPR. But, ask me again in a year.
• The only Sunday School class- of any age- was a Bible class where I was told, "We're gonna look at Job today!" From what I could gather, they were only going to study Job just this week. I think there was someone prepared to teach children and youth, but there were no students today. My family is still worshipping with my former congregation since my kids had already begun preparations for the Christmas pageant before I was knew I was going to serve this congregation. We'll reevaluate in the new year.
• I think I was grabbed and hugged by every church member I came across! I think some of the session members had let it slip that I had been extended more than one offer to serve as an interim, because a couple of folks said, "I'm so glad you chose us!" I've decided not to feel strange about that. It seems that they could use some esteem building.
• Each year in Advent, the congregation invites the young men of a boys' home that our Presbytery supports to come to worship and then lavishly gives each of them gifts. I mean it- presents and cards with cash! One of the staff members of the boys' home, whom I had never met, led the service. I suspected that he wasn't Presbyterian when I saw that his gospel reading for the first Sunday of Advent was Luke 2 and his 30 minute sermon was entitled "Noses Pushed Against the Glass of the Bethlehem Nursery." He is the newest staff member and is a Southern Baptist pastor. It wasn't a bad sermon, but I think folks will be happy with my 12-15 minute sermons!

I'm in a very good place right now- peaceful, grateful and really, really excited about this new ministry!

3:40 am...

....and I can't sleep. So, I'm insomnablogging.

I guess I'm a little nervous and wound up about my first official day as interim pastor tomorrow. Thankfully, I just have to be present and am not preaching.

I'll need lots of coffee in the morning for the 40 mile drive!

Have a blessed first Sunday of Advent, everyone!

Someone Shoot Me Now

In the spirit of today's Friday Five, I have to add that The Polar Express is the most tedious movie I have ever seen.

We've been watching it for an hour and a half now and it feels like at least 4 hours have passed.

The animation is creepy- the eyes on the people look dead.

And the whole point of the movie is "Christmas is in your heart," expressed, of course, by Tom Hank's version of Santa Claus. (Speaking of creepy...)

Oh, please, no.... now we have band Aerosmith as elves.....

I think I hear the baby Jesus crying....because he's creeped out and bored.

Friday Five: The Comeback Edition

I'm feeling a little better, so I thought I'd quickly do this Friday Five:

WillSmama writes: Parishioners pushing for carols before you digested your turkey?

Organist refusing to play Advent hymns because he/she already has them planned for Lessons & Carols?

Find yourself reading Luke and thinking of a variety of ways to tell Linus where to stick it? (Lights please.)

Then this quick and easy Friday Five is for you! And for those of you with a more positive attitude, have no fear. I am sure more sacred and reverent Friday Fives will follow.

Please tell us your least favorite/most annoying seasonal....

1) dessert/cookie/family food My mother-in-law makes this "Christmas cake," which she can call it that if she wants, but it's a fruitcake. 'nuff said.

2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc...) Drinks made with crappy, sub-par ingredients. I don't want peppermint flavored or eggnog flavored drinks. Give me the real deal if I'm gonna indulge!

3) tradition (church, family, other) overgifting by the grandparents

4) decoration Those ginormous snowglobe things that people put on their lawns. I just want to poke them with a stick. Not that I would, mind you....

5) gift (received or given) Almost anything given to my children by the grandparents. Their goal in holiday gift giving is to buy the most obnoxious toy for the children because they don't have to live with the noise. The worst? Hulk Hands of a couple of years ago.

BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it. Any Christmas song being played on the radio while it is still freakin' November!

Utterly Uneventful....

the surgery was, anyway. I was home within three hours of being wheeled into the OR- amazing!

I threw-up the pain meds, which was rather painful.

Cutting this short because looking at the computer is making me woozy.

Thanks for your prayers and well-wishes!

Under the Knife

It may be quiet here for a couple of days because I'm finally having my surgery tomorrow morning. I'm getting it done just in time before the really, really good insurance coverage I have through hospice expires.

It's an outpatient procedure, so I should be home in the afternoon. I have ordered from Netflix the seasons of Sex and the City that I've never seen and I plan to just lie on the couch and watch TV. While I'm not looking forward to recovering from surgery, I am looking forward to some peace and quiet!

Later!

Friday Five: The Day After Thanksgiving

Singing Owl at Revgals writes: Ah, the day after Thanksgiving--groan! Fortunately, I love Thanksgiving leftovers.Thanksgiving is the American holiday when the greatest number of people travel somewhere else to celebrate. I am posting this from my son’s home in Minnesota where we are recovering from the food shopping and the preparations and the meal and the clean up. It is difficult to think of anything requiring much energy today, and I am enjoying my sweet baby granddaughter, so I will keep it simple. For those of you not in the USA, I apologize for the nationalistic tone of this Friday Five!

1. Did you go elsewhere for the day, or did you have visitors at your place instead? How was it?

After my son's birthday party the day before, we were very chill yesterday for Thanksgiving. My great-aunt, my only relative in town, came over and spent the day with us. We ate very well and watched movies. Very nice.

2. Main course: If it was the turkey, the whole turkey, and nothing but the turkey, was it prepared in an unusual way? Or did you throw tradition to the winds and do something different?

No turkey for these vegetarians! We had a yummy tofurky. Don't laugh.... it was awesome!

Check out this funny song from SNL a few years ago called "Basted in Blood."

3. Other than the meal, do you have any Thanksgiving customs that you observe every year?

Not really, we just try to make it a day where we enjoy time together.

4. The day after Thanksgiving is considered a major Christmas shopping day by most US retailers. Do you go out bargain hunting and shop ‘till you drop, or do you stay indoors with the blinds closed? Or something in between?

I make it a point to buy absolutely nothing on the day after Thanksgiving.

5. Let the HOLIDAY SEASON commence! When will your Christmas decorations go up?

When I get around to it....

Decision Made

The session got its act together and is offering me a fair package. Since beginning this process , I have sensed that I am called to serve this church right now. So, I am going to accept it.

Decision made. I'm ready to move forward.

thanks be to God.

Confused

I just got off the phone with the Clerk of Session of the church I thought for sure I was going to serve as interim pastor. When am I going to learn to never think anything is "for sure?"

Well, it turns out that there was some confusion at their Session meeting Thursday night concerning my pay package. There were those present who thought I had said that the figure we were talking about included Board of Pension dues (pension and medical insurance.) When they found out by the others who did not have that misunderstanding that that was not the case, they freaked out a little. So the Session decided to table the discussion until the whole Stewardship committee can meet a week from next Thursday!

I told her that I had another offer and that I could not keep them waiting for so long. Besides, my family needs me employed pronto.

I am so confused. I truly thought I would go to serve this church, as I was not as drawn to the other church. However,I told this other church that I would let them know by Monday and I know that they are clear on the package. In fact, when the man called me to offer the position to me, he repeated twice, "This is not including Board of Pensions dues."

I can't see turning down the solid offer and waiting for the other. Even if I did wait, do I still want to go to this church? Do I not accept either position and wait for a called position? What do we do for money to pay the mortgage?

I am feeling sheer panic right now and need to just calm down. I'm sorry if I'm rambling and making no sense.

Any thoughts out there?

Invited to Both Dances

Both churches have asked me to serve as their interim pastor, which is great, but I hate having to turn anyone down. I'd rather eat worms.

There really is no question, in my mind, as to which church I feel called to serve. However, my husband leans toward the other because it's a little easier to get to and, he believes, the road is safer. They are offering practically identical pay packages, so no real difference there.

Considering the situation I have found myself in with being laid-off, this truly is an extravagant blessing to be asked to serve by both churches.

Now, I just hope that I will be an effective interim.

File Under: Things I've Never Heard Said Before

My Son: "Dad, Mom won't let me annoy myself!"