One of my many problems with this adjustment is that I don't like being an employee. Pastors, at least in my experience, aren't often called employees of the church. (That is, of course, unless someone doesn't get what they want, when they want it, from the pastor. Then, you might hear something like, "Hey, she's working for us, isn't she?") It's totally a pride thing and I need to get over myself.
But I do miss the dynamic of the pastor not being a member of the congregation, but rather a member of Presbytery. The owner of this hospice doesn't give a rip that I am a member of Presbytery; I am just his employee. And I am sure that he would have no appreciation for the fact that I consider myself first a Minister of Word and Sacrament serving in a validated ministry by authority of the my Presbytery before I consider myself his employee working as a chaplain for this particular hospice.
I believe what I just wrote, but do you see what I'm doing? I'm finding any way I can to not be an employee! I think that this is very significant for me and it is something that I am going to wrestle with in prayer. I really troubles me to think that I view the ordained office of Minister of Word and Sacrament as somehow more important than what others do for a living. Maybe I do. God help me! But also think that there are some other things going on too that I can't even articulate yet.