Pentecost Service

We had a fantastic service this morning! Of course, it was Pentecost service, but it was also Confirmation Sunday, complete with a baptism of one of the confirmands. The confirmands were the liturgists and read their statements of faith to the congregation. Oh, and we also had communion. I am exhausted, but also very full and satisfied with how the Spirit blew through our congregation today.

I did, however, have a perplexing encounter with our music director. I heard the choir rehearsing the final hymn, "Spirit," and the organist was playing it as slow as a funeral dirge. I asked if it could please be played more quickly, as I was trying to create a joyful and celebratory mood for worship. The music director got annoyed, and in front of the choir, told me that I needed to arrange these kinds of changes beforehand. I repeated that I wanted it played faster and left. I wasn't asking for any major change like adding a hymn or asking for a soloist on a verse. Was I off base?

Today

I nearly told a Session member to f***-off today after church. Instead, I channeled my inner valley girl and a very mature "Whatever!" flew out of my mouth.

I've learned that the church is not immune from those who attack when they see the slightest sign of weakness. Today I was the vulnerable one, as I shared with the congregation about all that's been going on. Needless to say, I shed a few tears as I asked the people of God to pray for all involved in this situation, including my family and another family in the church who used this childcare worker.

I've been one raw nerve since Thursday, and I did NOT want to listen to this elder as she cornered me right after service to berate me for not calling communion servers for next week. (NOT my job anyways!)

Whatever.

BTW: Thank you all so much for your kind support and prayers. I can't even begin to tell you how much it has meant to me. Of course, I don't have the words for a lot of things right now.

Relief

I never thought I would feel a sense of peace and relief from someone losing their job, but I do. It feels awful to admit that I am glad that someone now has to go job hunting. But that's the way I feel, especially since this termination is about, say, two years overdue.

I used to be very lukewarm about the topic of church members working as the church administrative assistant. No more! It is much too painful and much too hard to end the employment if things aren't working out. No, you have to have someone in there that sees the pastor(s) as the boss with no role confusions.

She has been given more than ample opportunity to improve her behavior, particularly her insubordinate attitude towards the pastors. I didn't realize how worn down I was feeling by it until Tuesday night's Session meeting when we were discussing her termination. When asked my thoughts, I started crying and told them that I hated going to the office because I felt abused. Now it's done and she won't be there the next time I go in.

So, I drink a glass of wine tonight and breathe a sigh of relief that no more will I have to endure in the office:

• temper tantrums when I want something changed in the worship bulletin,
• having everything I write for the church newsletter rewritten in the way she thinks it should be,
• not being able to use the second church phone line because she's on it half the day,
• having things "lost" or "forgotten" because she didn't want to deal with it,
• and especially, being treated like I'm a stupid, irresponsible kid.

I truly hope she finds a great job where she can use her considerable skills and where she gets to be the boss. Maybe now I won't get sick to my stomach just thinking about going into the church office.