Getting Into the Boat

Yesterday doubt and fear was foremost in my mind as I considered what is ahead for the PC(USA.) Much of this fear is coming from a feeling of being very exposed. When I was still serving in a More Light congregation as an Associate, it was a lot easier to trust that when change was on the way there would be a strong support system in place as we navigated these changes together.

Now, I am serving as an interim in a rural congregation which, like many congregations, is divided theologically and politically. I had to throw out yesterday morning's lesson in my adult class because all they wanted to talk about was what happened at G.A.. This turned into a heated debate, which I had to moderate. I am sure that the same thing happened in church school classess all over the denomination.

I am also feeling exposed as the Moderator of our Presbytery's Committee on Preparation for Ministry. By and large, I do not have a friendly committee to LGBT folks. So, it will be interesting as we implement G.A.'s direction to not lift up G-6.106b as a "superstandard." Thankfully, G.A.'s actions give me a firm place on which to stand.

As I have been praying and thinking today, the words of our newly elected Stated Clerk, Gradye Parsons, have been ringing in my ears: "Get in the boat. Go across the lake. There will be a storm. You will not die."

So, I'm in the boat. Really, I am. The Spirit is blowing!

Thank you, Jesus.

Rambling Thoughts After General Assembly

I am filled with an equal measure of excitement and apprehension following the actions of the General Assembly of the PC(USA.) Things are moving and shaking much, much sooner than I had anticipated it would in regard to justice and equality in ordination standards and I believe that the one doing the moving and the shaking is none other than the Holy Spirit. Still, I am anxious as to what is ahead of us as a denomination and do not feel like it is time to celebrate.

Part of the blame for my hesitancy I place squarely on the Peace, Unity and Purity (PUP) Task Force, those scoundrels who taught me too well by their Godly example of how to be in community with both those who agree and those who disagree with me. Through their example and through their Spirit-filled report, my heart was changed toward those who disagree with me, particularly on questions of ordination. I was especially convicted in their discussion on allowing that those who disagree with me have come to their places of understanding in as earnest and faithful way as I have.

This is difficult for me, being one whose mind and heart has changed dramatically in the last twelve or so years. I catch myself at times being incredulous that everyone can't see what is so clear to me now. This is, of course, an arrogant and sinful attitude and exactly what the PUP report was asking the Church to work on together in order to move beyond our "positions" and see one another as sisters and brothers in Christ.

So, I am feeling torn between cautious optimism that we may soon rectify what I believe to be a grave injustice to our LGBT brothers and sisters and really and truly feeling the pain of those who believe that the church (small "c") is moving away from them.

Is it anathema to say that I wonder if this is the right time? Are we doing more harm than good right now? I know, it is easy for me to ask such questions because my ordination has never been called into question. I also know that I have a tendency to want to avoid pain and, man, I think we're in for a painful year in the PC(USA.)

I know what my vote is going to be when it is time for my Presbytery to vote on this issue: "Yes, yes, a million times, yes! Take that language out of our Book of Order!" But I don't know that my heart will be rejoicing when I do so.

May the Spirit lead us.

Woot! Woot!

I am one happy Presbyterian right now! Bruce Reyes-Chow, pastor of Mission Bay Community Church in San Francisco was elected tonight as Moderator of General Assembly!

Yes, I have been watching the live streaming of G.A. online. I'm officially a geek!

I am encouraged by this choice and pray for him in his ministry in this role for the next two years.