I've written very little lately. I think it's because I've been embarrassed to express that I'm not having that great a time in my new gig. My kids are crying everyday because they don't want to go to daycare all day and I don't blame them. And although I have been privileged already to walk with patients and their families in those sacred last days of life this side of eternity, I still feel like a cog in the machinery of this for-profit company.
Maybe I'm not cut out to be a 9-5er. I feel like such a brat saying that because that is what normal people do; work and come home. Why should I think that I'm so frickin' special?
God, I wouldn't be surprised if no one reads my blog anymore. I'm getting on my own nerves.
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13 comments:
Everything . . . Everything you said . . . I totally get. Because I commute to my new church, I feel like a 9-5er because I can't come home, can't take my son anywhere he needs to go, can't make his lunch. Spouse has taken on all those roles now and I am envious. I wish my church was 5 min from home like Spouse's. Sigh! Iris, I am with you. Hang in there. You are not on my nerves at all. Peace.
Ah, I'm sorry. Things will fall in place.
I read your blog and will continue to - and it will take time to adjust and you will find out if this is right for you. And during that time, your ministry to these folks will make such a difference!
(((Iris)))
(((iris)))
Hang in there, friend...
I'm not the 9-5 type either and often wonder why I should get to be the "special" one...then I remember that though I can go home for 2 hours for lunch, though I come in at 10, not 8, I often work until 9 or 10 at night, I work Sundays, and people expect to be able to reach me anytime, day or night. Then I feel special in a different, not so good way (like the 3rd grade way). And I turn my phone off in hopes of a day away.
I'll still be reading as you adjust to a new call, or come to terms with it being not your call, or whatever happens. In fact, I'm interested to read about your struggles in this transition! Please share. We'll be here for you.
(((Iris)))
Give it time. Adjustments are hard for everyone! If it really isn't the right thing, something else will come along.
First, I'm hugging you with my brain and heart.
Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being a nine-to-fiver. I remember your saying that you weren't completely sure about this position, that it wasn't what you really wanted to do. I'm not disappointed in you for being right about that!
The crying kids part has got to be really painful, especially since day care has been so painful for you recently.
Be gentle with yourself, dear Iris.
(((Iris))), what Songbird said. Give yourself (and your family) some time to adjust. If down the road it really isn't right for you, you will know it and know when to start trying to make a move.
Many prayers are being said for you. Keep sharing.
Peace,
Mags
You all are the best. I'm feeling better about things this afternoon, I'm sure because it's the weekend. Whoo-hoo!
I have a Presbytery committee meeting tomorrow, but the rest of the weekend is free to spend with my family.
One of these days I'll blog about somthing other than myself.
I totally get this. When I was doing 9-5, getting the kids out every day was a bear. And, it'll go back to that in September when I start school. It's all an adjustment, and it'll come.
oh man oh man oh man... yeah. give yourself a break... you are still settling in and sometimes recognizing what 'doesn't fit' is just as important as discovering that which does.
(and...i'll still be reading cuz i have to get out of my own self-absorbed world.)
Hang in there!
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