Just in case you were wondering...

...I've still heard nothing from the Pastor Nominating Committee.

I haven't called them, either. It's kind of a game now to see how long they intend to keep me dangling. I really don't mean to sound bitter, because I'm not. Truly, I'm not. I'm more bemused and bewildered at their behavior.

And I hardly think about it anymore, especially the past few days since our childcare worker's trial.

If it is possible to be seriously bummed at same time as having peace-- that's me right now.

Verdict In

I guess the jury didn't need much time to convict.

Verdict: 1st degree murder

Sentence: life in prison without parole.

Iris household: heartbroken

Trial Began

The trial for our former childcare worker began today. For those of you who weren't readers last year, you can read about it here and here.

The mother of the child who died testified today, which I'm sure was just excruciating for her. I don't think that I will be going to observe; I just don't think I could handle it.

Please pray for all involved.

And Now...

...still nothing to report.

And.....................Nothin'

It's almost 9:30 pm on Friday night and still I've heard zilch. At this point, I'm playing all kinds of scenarios out in my mind, such as:

1) They are taking a week for discernment before they extend a call.

2) They've already extended the call to the other person, but she (I know it's a she) is needing some time to decide. So, they haven't called me ,"just in case."

3) They've already extended the call to the other person and they forgot to include the kiss-off letter with the check reimbursing me for my airfare.

4) They're big jerks who have no intention of calling.

They didn't seem like big jerks to me, so #4 is out. #1 could be the case, but wouldn't they have at least dropped a quick line to both of us to that effect? Maybe, maybe not. My hunch is that #2 is what's happening. I know, I know....I can't know for sure and this speculating is only serving to drive me out of my mind. There is lots going on that I'll never ever know about and God is in control.

However, I do need to think about how I would respond should they call me in the coming days offering me the position. Do I ask if I was their second choice? Could I be okay with that if that were the case?

Honestly, I think that I am about over it all. I never have had that sense of confirmation that God is indeed calling me there. I longed for it. I prayed for it. I wanted to fall completely head over heels in love and I wanted them to fall head over heels in love with me. I really liked the PNC and I really like the location, but I just don't have the sense of joy that I need to have in considering a call.

Friends, this isn't my call, is it?

I'm Still Waaaaaaaiiiting!!!

So, I'm guessing that they extended the call to the other person because the church website is announcing a congregational meeting. I suppose there are lots of reasons for a congregational meeting, but I wonder...

I just wish they'd call so I'd know.

Where It Is Right Now

I hate waiting.

However, I don't know what I'd say if they did call tonight.

I'm one confused puppy.

and now for your moment of immaturity.....

This morning's prelude:

"Air for the G String"

tee-hee

Well, Crap....

I just accidentally deleted my blog roll! I still love you all!

ETA: I just spent about an hour recovering my blogroll, but for some reason only a few of you actually made it onto the roll. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. It doesn't seem *that* hard!

Prayin' and Thinkin'...

I'm pressed for time today, but I wanted to let you know how it went...

I had a very good weekend. Everything went very well, preaching included. It was a fantastically beautiful weekend with lots of sunshine! The weather has been so gloomy here lately, so I appreciated the sun on my face.

I didn't end up meeting with the Committee on Ministry because they don't want to meet until they have extended a call and it has been accepted. This is weird to me because are they really going to say no after a call has been accepted? Whatever.

I wish I could say that I had a great moment of clarity while I was there, but I didn't. I could see myself living there and pastoring this congregation, but I don't have the feeling of "this is it." It could be that I am feeling guarded because I know that they are interviewing another person this weekend.

It does help that today my husband has been saying that he thinks he would like to go. He's been pretty tight-lipped about it all until now. I want him to feel quite sure about it, especially since we'd be moving to where his parents live.

Oh, on Saturday night we had dinner at a committee member's apartment- the same apartment complex as my in-laws! In fact, this committee member serves on the condo board with my father-in-law. I think she thought I was strange for not telling my in-laws I was in town, but oh well. My husband was very adamant that I not.

So, prayers for clarity and discernment for all concerned would be greatly appreciated.

Getting Ready to Go

I'm here. I have so much to write about, but haven't been able to do it. I've sat at this computer so many times in the past weeks, but couldn't get myself to type anything. This is my pattern in the "real" world, as well; when I feel overwhelmed I shut down and and don't communicate with my friends and family. Not good, I know.

In a nutshell, I feel simultaneously very blessed and very confused and angry. The confused and angry part comes from decisions that my dad is making right now. I don't have time to write about that right now, but I will one of these days. Just please pray for him and my mom.

The blessed part is that tomorrow I fly west to meet with a Pastor Nominating Committee (PNC) to be interviewed and do a neutral pulpit. For HipChick, and other non-Presbyterians, a neutral pulpit is an opportunity for the PNC to hear a candidate preach and lead worship. This is done at another church in the area because pastor candidates aren't introduced to the congregation until a call as been extended and accepted.

I will also be interviewed by an exam team from this Presbytery's Committee on Ministry. I'm actually most nervous about this because this Presbytery is, by and large, very conservative. This Presbytery is a neighboring Presbytery to where I went to seminary and does not allow its inquirers and candidates to attend my seminary. So, I am little worried that they will be prejudiced against me from the get-go and that I will be in for one doozy of an interview with the COM. So far, I have had very laid back COM interviews. Have any of you had difficulty with this part?

I'm not sure if I mentioned that this city out west is where my in-laws live. We haven't told them anything, not even that I'm in conversation with this church. The reason is that they would be devastated if it didn't work out and if I were the one to pull the plug, I'm not sure my mother-in-law would ever forgive me. So, I really hope I don't accidentally run into them! It's possible, as the church is just down the hill from their condo.

Okay, must finish sermon. I decided to preach lectionary instead of pulling out one of Iris' greatest hits, but now I'm beginning to wish I hadn't. Oh, well....

Peace to you all...