Friday, April 18, 2008

And.....................Nothin'

It's almost 9:30 pm on Friday night and still I've heard zilch. At this point, I'm playing all kinds of scenarios out in my mind, such as:

1) They are taking a week for discernment before they extend a call.

2) They've already extended the call to the other person, but she (I know it's a she) is needing some time to decide. So, they haven't called me ,"just in case."

3) They've already extended the call to the other person and they forgot to include the kiss-off letter with the check reimbursing me for my airfare.

4) They're big jerks who have no intention of calling.

They didn't seem like big jerks to me, so #4 is out. #1 could be the case, but wouldn't they have at least dropped a quick line to both of us to that effect? Maybe, maybe not. My hunch is that #2 is what's happening. I know, I know....I can't know for sure and this speculating is only serving to drive me out of my mind. There is lots going on that I'll never ever know about and God is in control.

However, I do need to think about how I would respond should they call me in the coming days offering me the position. Do I ask if I was their second choice? Could I be okay with that if that were the case?

Honestly, I think that I am about over it all. I never have had that sense of confirmation that God is indeed calling me there. I longed for it. I prayed for it. I wanted to fall completely head over heels in love and I wanted them to fall head over heels in love with me. I really liked the PNC and I really like the location, but I just don't have the sense of joy that I need to have in considering a call.

Friends, this isn't my call, is it?

12 comments:

imngrace said...

This is very hard, I know. I've had a similar week of waiting--for something totally different, but waiting is still very, very hard.

You are not alone in this waiting. There are prayers being lifted for you and for the congregation and the call process. You will know what to say when they call and it will be grace-filled and driven by the Holy Spirit--honest.

Patience is definitely not one of my gifts. I will pray for courage, patience, peace, and hope for you today (and the next day, and the next...).

more cows than people said...

oh dear iris, i would be doing the same thing, imagining all the hypotheticals in the seemingly interminable wait. sigh.

i don't know if this is your call or not, but perhaps this time of waiting without word is illuminating. i know how much you want it to be your call. and i know how sad it is when something you want just. doesn't. come. to. pass.

i pray that you hear SOMETHING soon and that you have, at that time, the clarity you need.

and yes, if they offer a call after this long delay, i do believe it is fair to ask if you were second choice (and perhaps even if the decision to call you was unanimous) because that is important data in your discernment. i'm not sure about this, maybe it would be tacky to do. but i have friends who found this out AFTER accepting a call and it was significantly complicating to their ministries. perhaps you could talk to the c.o.m. in that presbytery about this matter. perhaps that would be the best approach.

lifting you to light, iris. ((((iris))))

cheesehead said...

Oh dear, I've been there. But even if you were second choice, and they offer it to you, it still could be God's hand in it.

Prayers for you and for them...

Magdalene6127 said...

I was second choice for the job that led to me find my denominational home, and being called to ordained ministry. so... second choice, I agree with Cheese, still could be God's gentle correction of their first choice! I was told right away, though. And I think it was wise of my boss to tell me.

Prayers for you, Iris.

Alex said...

I agree with Cheese and Mags -- God will let you know. But the waiting still sucks.

Songbird said...

They've said it all, but I will join in the hugs and prayers.

Rev SS said...

I agree, they have said it all ... I'll just add that being 2nd choice means they heard God wrong initially ... and, unless you feel God really wants you to be there, they may have heard God wrong on their second choice too. But, if you feel God is calling you there if/when they offer it, then they got it right second time!

Crystal said...

sweetie,

i feel ya. you've already heard great words so i'll just add my love and prayers.

Grace thing said...

me, too. (((Iris))) Breath. Deep in and out for you.

Singing Owl said...

Drat. I guess I just echo what others are saying and praying. Just pondering...perhaps the wait was so that you would realize that you do not really feel that this is your call? If they offer it to you, could you now feel the answer is no?

((((IRIS)))))

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

God's given you gifts... you will use them... wherever it is God wants you to be.
however it happens God gets you there...
whether or not it makes logical sense.

put your feet up.
eat some chocolate.
laugh. pray. sleep...
hope this week brings you clarification!

Wyldth1ng said...

It might be, but I don't know these things. I could lie to you but I am a bad liar, that's why I don't lie.