Update

The young woman I wrote about a few days ago is hanging in there. They are weaning her off the drugs that they were using to keep her in a coma and the doctors are encouraged by her progress. She is still, however, critical and the extent of the damage to her brain is unknown.

Thanks for your prayers.

ETA: I just realized that this is my 100th post. Wow- I still can't believe that I have a blog.

It Takes Soooo Long to Resign!

Just a quick update....

I gave my resignation to Session last night. Everyone was stunned, but very sweet and affirming.

I just returned from meeting with most of my youth group and as I told them about my leaving, it felt like all the air rushed out of the room. But they did take it well, although they are understandably concerned about the future of the youth program. I'm praying that more adults will step up after I leave.

The letter to the congregation is going out today.

I am a bit amused by my colleague's insistence that I have a performance review before I leave. Whatever.

Five Things I Dig About Jesus

I was tagged by Cathy. This has been all over the blogring, so I'm going to dispense with the instructions.

Five things I dig about Jesus...

1. He loves me. This I know, for the Bible tells me so.

2. He was a holy man AND knew how to have a good time.

3. He liked short people, including children and tax collectors.

4. He was completely present with whomever he was with.

5. He didn't teach the hokey-pokey, but he told us to love God and neighbor and to spread it all around. That's what it's all about!

I'm not sure if there's anyone who hasn't already done this, but let's try tngirl, Singing Owl, Lutheran Mom, Pastornines, and grace-thing

Update and a Prayer Request

My colleague was very supportive and kind when I told her I was resigning. I haven't told anyone else because she is calling a special Session meeting on Tuesday night. They don't know the reason for the called meeting, so I'm sure that they are confused and little ticked they have to come in.

Not looking forward to it.

Okay, I have a much more important issue to discuss. I ask for prayers for an 19 year old young woman in our church who is right now in a chemically induced coma in the ICU. On Friday night, she and some friends were goofing off and racing shopping carts in the parking lot of a mall. She toppled out of the cart head over heels and landed on her head. She had emergency surgery to remove a blood clot the size of a fist.

Her prognosis is unknown, but she does have youth on her side. The girl was a straight A student and was looking forward to her first year of college where she was going to study Engineering. She had just returned from a year studying in the Philippines. I am heartsick for her and her family. Her younger sister is a very active member of our youth group and is one of the most spiritually sensitive people, youth or otherwise, that I have ever met.

Please pray with me.

11:09 PM

I can't sleep and feel like I'm gonna hurl thinking about telling my colleague and my youth group that I am resigning. Everyone else I can handle.

A New Garden

Well, I've done it. I am now a hospice chaplain.

The interview with the other chaplains was very laid back, as they didn't bombard me with questions, but just told me about their experiences and answered my questions.

I don't think that the head chaplain and the Social Service director intended to offer me the job right then and there, but on my way out the owner of the hospice asked them, "So, did you tell her that she got the job?" They stammered and said, "Well, we were going to let you sit with this for a bit and then call you. But, do you think you want the job?" We then went back into an office to "talk turkey." The salary is several thousand more than I expected and the insurance coverage for my kids is practically nothing, which I was very concerned about since we've gotten accustomed to paid family coverage.

So, now the hard part: telling my church. My colleague is going out of town on Monday for 3 weeks, so I'll have to tell her on Sunday. The folks at hospice said that I could be part-time for a few weeks to get trained so that I can give appropriate notice to the church.

Oh, how I hate quitting a job! I've gotten sick to my stomach over quitting a paper route and when I resigned from my first call, I was completely beside myself. I know that they will be supportive and I know that my leaving will make way for ministries that are on the horizon. Namely, we are beginning to reach out to the Hispanic population of our neighborhood and have someone who is ready to lead that effort, but she does need to be paid. I am excited for what God has in store for this congregation and for the next called pastor.

Thanks, friends, for all the prayers and words of wisdom. You all are the best!

A Fork in the Road

Yesterday I had a job interview for a chaplaincy position in a local hospice and tomorrow I meet with all the chaplains. I have the feeling that I will be offered the job. I go into this a bit half-hearted because I really wanted to have a pastoral call by now. It's not happening and we are going deeper and deeper into debt. Something's gotta give and that something is me getting a more lucrative job. My part-time position with its itty-bitty salary just isn't enough.

I do enjoy pastoral care and find it a privilege to journey with people in their last days. I am intrigued about the possibility of working a Monday-Friday, 8-5 job and there is a lot of autonomy in how I spend my time. Chaplaincy certainly is a very important ministry and I am grateful that there is an opportunity for me to be in ministry in this way.

It's not only our financial situation that leads me to want to move on. Anyone who reads this blog with any regularity knows that my job satisfaction has gone way down in the last year. I absolutely love the congregation, but I know that my purpose for being there has passed.

I spoke today with my beloved former colleague and he is concerned that I might have a hard time finding a parish ministry if I am a chaplain. It's easier to be called to a church while working in a church. I do know that ultimately I want to pastor a congregation.

I have been playing the Indigo Girls' song "Watershed" over and over the past few days.

Up on the watershed

standing in a fork in the road.

You can stand there and agonize

til your agony's your heaviest load.

Any words of wisdom out there? Would I be hurting myself professionally?

Of course, they might not even offer me the position and this whole conversation would be moot.

Eight Random Things

Towanda tagged me for this "Eight Random Things About Me" meme the other day while I was out of town. Since this meme has been all over the blogring, I'm not going to bother sharing the rules, especially since I'm going to disregard them anyway! I'll try to share different things than the "Six Weird Things About Me" meme from several weeks ago!

Let's see....

1. My older sister's and my middle name are each one half of our mother's name.


2. I hate, I hate, I hate it when someone squeaks a balloon. It hurts me physically..... really.


3. My second toe is longer than my big toe and I don't mind! My mother's toes are the same way and she once told me when I was a little girl that it signified that she was the boss! I like that interpretation!


4. My daughter went without a name for her first two days of life because she didn't look like the name we had originally chosen. The name we came up with suits her quite well!


5. I don't understand underwire bras. I mean, I know they are supposed to be more supportive, but I have been professionally fitted and still can't find one that is at all comfortable.

6. I'm discovering that it sucks to still be on vacation, but not be out of town. Well, at least when you have kids and school's out for summer!


7. I just fed my kids cereal for dinner.


8. I wish I had a gin and tonic right now.

Blogger Meet Up In Colorado!

Today I went back to my old stompin' grounds (and I did stomp a lot!) at the Iliff School of Theology in Denver. There I met up with Towanda and had a great lunch at a Chinese restaurant I used to frequent. Thankfully, the food is still delicious and I didn't have to say, "It used to be good, really!"

The roses are from my sister-in-law's back yard. She didn't have any irises. :) But we have lovely hands, don't you think?

Vacation

We're heading out early tomorrow to drive about 12 hours straight to Colorado. My husband's parents and sister and family and both of my sisters and their families live in CO. My parents are coming down from Wyoming. Lots of family time and a little camping. While in Denver, we get to meet for the first time our nephew who was born in March!

Also while in Denver, I'm going to drop by where I went to seminary, Iliff School of Theology and have a blogger meet up with Towanda. I am really excited about that!

I'll be back blogging in a week or so. Peace, y'all!

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I got spoiled the first time I was seeking a call. I received and accepted a call less than a month and half after I was cleared to circulate my PIF, and the church I went to wasn't the first one to issue me a call. I'm not sure why it came so easy that time around, but it did. I do know that the PNCs (pastor search committee) I was in contact with back then were very motivated and moved very quickly, whereas the ones I've been in conversation with this time are taking their sweet time.

A few weeks ago I told a PNC that I wasn't their gal mainly because I couldn't stand the way they were going about the process. First, they didn't like my list of references because there were, "too many pastors and elders on it." Oookay. Then, it took three weeks for them to check my references because they felt they had to have the entire committee present to speak with the references. Have you ever heard of such a thing? I hadn't and neither had any of my references.

The PNC of a congregation that I am very interested in has been dragging their feet, too. I had a terrific phone interview with them about a month ago and I know that they have called a few of references, but I hadn't heard a thing from them since the phone interview. So I e-mailed the committee chair last week to check in and ask if my sermon tape had arrived. He wrote back saying, "We haven't made any decisions yet, but you're still in the running."

Now, this bothered my husband to no end. He doesn't want me to be "in the running." He thinks that the PNC of the church I am ultimately called to will be super excited about me from the get-go and won't drag things out. You know, like it was the first time around. I've told him that we need to trust the process, that this PNC probably has some really good candidates that they are considering and that we need to be patient. But there is a part of me that wonders if he might be right. I'm not sure I want to be "in the running" either. Is this call process a horse race? Am I in competition with my fellow pastors? I don't think so, but I wonder if that's how some PNCs view the process.

So, I pray for these committees and their discernment, as well as mine, knowing that God's going to land me somewhere that's right. But could it be soon, Lord?